To the Believer

FROM THE DESK OF: Monica B. Tebis

            ExxonMobil Fuels Marketing Company

            Global Asset Management - Fairfax Campus

"You must get along with each other."  1 Corinthians 1:10

   Getting Along with Each Other

   Here are two things you must do in order to mend a broken

relationship:

   1) Attack the problem, not the person. You can't fix the problem if you're obsessed with fixing the blame. The Bible says: "A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire" (Pr 15:1). In resolving any conflict, how you say it is as important as what you say. If you say it offensively, you'll be received defensively.

"A wise, mature person is known for his understanding. The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is" (Pr 16:21). Nagging doesn't work.

You're never persuasive when you're abrasive! Don't use words that are condemning, belittling, comparing, labeling, insulting, condescending or sarcastic. "Use... only helpful words... so that what you say will do good to those who hear you" (Eph 4:29).

   2) Focus on your relationship, not your differences. It's unrealistic to expect every- body to agree about everything. But when we focus on the relationship, the problem often loses its significance, diminishes, or becomes irrelevant. Often we can re-establish the relationship even though we're unable to resolve our differences. We'll always have honest disagreements, but surely, by God's grace, we can disagree without being disagreeable.

We can walk arm-in-arm without seeing eye-to-eye. This doesn't mean giving up on finding a solution nor on the relationship. You may need to continue discussing it - but now you agree to do it in the spirit of love.

   Reconciliation means burying the hatchet, not necessarily the issue.

So who do you need to contact? With whom do you need to restore fellowship?

   Pick up the phone and begin the process.

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires  that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you  cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because  you do not ask God."  James 4:1-2

"Make a Difference Today ... Encourage Someone!"